Mixed Signals

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner is reportedly getting married again, on New Year’s Eve. He and former “girlfriend” Crystal Harris planned to marry a year and a half ago to much hoopla — before Harris backed out five days before the ceremony.

It all seems a bit odd that the 86-year-old Hefner would opt for such a traditional form of commitment. He’s been married twice before, of course, but as the pioneer of a sexual revolution in which anything goes, I have to ask why he bothers now, especially when he reportedly needs to pop “enhancement” drugs and to watch porn before hopping in the sack.

Hefner spent a couple of years in a relationship with Harris while simultaneously “dating” twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon. For Hefner, dating is a euphemism for being available for sex whenever he desires at the Playboy Mansion. In the past, Hefner has “dated” seven girls simultaneously. In his lifetime, Hefner has had sexual intercourse with hundreds of women, the vast majority of them lifelike blonde Barbie dolls in their teens and early 20s.

Now he is promising to be faithful to the 26-year-old Harris. What a twist for the man who is largely responsible for polyamory gaining acceptance in this country.