Facebook Disconnect

I’m continually amused at the favorite choices of Facebook friends when it comes to what they watch, listen to and read.

Many of these mostly young people claim to be spiritually and morally conservative. Yet the movies and TV shows listed on the social networking site belie those beliefs. The salacious programs and motion pictures they watch promote premarital and extramarital sex, display horrific violence, and contain vulgar language.

Ironically, many of these same people often list tame contemporary Christian artists as their musicians of choice, and the Bible as the book they love.

There seems to be a disconnect here. While Scripture certainly contains accounts of sexual sin and gore, it’s balanced out with God’s ideals of love and purity. Not so with today’s media.

Limits of Facebook

I like Facebook. It’s a great way to connect with relatives and people from church. It’s also a good place to track down sources for a story and network for business.

But this whole “friend” concept is a bit of a misnomer. Some of the people I’ve found for a story and requested friendship status obliged, but I’ve never interacted with them again. And I’ve granted approval to several people from my past who wanted to reconnect; yet they have never bothered to send a personal greeting.

Some of my 192 “friends” I’ve never met in person, or even talked to on the phone. We have just exchanged words via computers. I wouldn’t know them if I bumped into them on the street. I’m sorry to say I have one friend whom I have no idea who she is or how our paths crossed.

Which makes me chuckle whenever I see the announcements that one of my friends has befriended 23 other people at the same time. Can you really keep track of 4,792 friends? Can you really have 4,792 friends?

I’m not the type of person who accepts friendship requests from everybody. I know that violates some people’s idea of etiquette. But maybe there is a reason we haven’t talked for 13 years: we really don’t have anything in common anymore.

I also am guarded about who I accept as a friend from the building where I work. I don’t want everybody to know all about my personal life. I have a rule of not befriending people in my immediate office. I figure we can be face-to-face friends. No book required.

Facebook Friends?

I suppose I’m not unique in receiving friend requests from people I don’t recognize by name. I also find it a bit odd when a member of the opposite sex who I only know from passing in the hall wants to befriend me.

Requests from people at church make more sense. There we are a community of believers. Facebook can provide a way to get to know each other better.

Some of the strangest requests are from high school classmates that I really didn’t associate with back in the day. Why should I become pals with a guy who thought I was too square growing up because I didn’t drink and do drugs all the time as he did? Or a woman who really didn’t have time for me because I wasn’t in the same social circle of friends? I knew her in high school, junior high and grade school. Now she wants to get friendly, 34 years after I last saw her?

I imagine the requests are part of a desire for validation. If someone has 1,000 “friends” they must be more popular than someone with 100 contacts. I certainly don't look anything like I did in high school, as the photo can attest. In any regard, I think I probably have enough closer relationships online that I don’t need to go courting pseudo ones.

Why I Now Like Facebook

In the not so distant past (http://jkennedy.agblogger.org/2009/01/12/facing-up-to-facebook-john-w-kennedy/) I’ve ranted about why I didn’t see the value of Facebook. I’ve changed my mind.

While some of those concerns still hold true (e.g., it causes me to spend too much time on the computer instead of living), since I joined Facebook last month I’ve been pleasantly surprised.

I’ve caught up with old friends, connected with people at church and been able to find out what my sons are doing with their lives. In short, it’s been fulfilling, amusing and interesting. But I’m still not going to bore you with what I ate for breakfast.