Sorry I Missed Mom Passing

I received a phone call Friday night from a nurse at the care facility where my 94-year-old mother had lived for the past 13 months, asking for permission to administer a narcotic pain reliever. The nurse explained that my mom had uncharacteristically been complaining about stomach pains—and that my mom had told her she was dying.

Early Saturday morning I received another call from the nursing home predicting that my mom would be gone within the hour. An hour later the news came true.

My mom had been in hospice care for a year and a half. A physical examination a few months back revealed that she had an abdominal aortic aneurysm. While the condition didn’t cause discomfort in daily living, a nurse warned that it could cause sudden death. My mom was too old and feeble for surgical relief.

Although I live in the same city as my mom, I was half a country away on a reporting assignment. I couldn’t be there with my mom as she lay dying. Thankfully she went peacefully.

I’m glad I visited her Wednesday evening before I flew to West Virginia Thursday morning. At the time she said she thought she might live to 100; I told her that, having just celebrated her 94th birthday, six years was a long way off.

Thankfully, my wife and my kind Uncle Joe got to visit Mom when she was still lucid just after the administering of the pain medication. Joe, a spry 87 years old, recently had a successful operation for the same condition that proved fatal to my mom.

My dad sensed imminent death soon before he died of congestive heart failure 10 years ago. Sadly, I was traveling at the time and couldn’t be with him at the end.
I’m grateful to the nursing home staff and hospice care staff that made her final months comfortable and engaging as possible for someone who only left her bed for meals. They truly helped extend her life and make it more enjoyable.

Although Mescal Kennedy’s death was hardly unexpected, the timing caught me off guard because she seemed as normal as ever the day before. We should never take anything for granted. I’m glad I made the Wednesday evening visit.

A Very Good Life

Tuesday I attended the funeral of my brother’s mother-in-law in York, Neb. In her 96 years and two days on this earth, Leora Law embodied the attributes that many of us strive for, but few of us attain.

I knew Leora for the 46 years my brother has been married. In that time, I never saw her ruffled. She never complained. She was never cross. She never said a harsh word about anyone, to their face or behind their back.

There was no putting on airs with Leora. She had no mood swings depending on circumstances. She enjoyed every day, whether good or bad. Leora had the big picture in mind, and didn’t allow the petty grievances of daily living that sabotage most of us to get her down.

Most impressively, Leora kept a great attitude in her advanced years, when she could no longer walk, see well or hear that great. Just being around family and friends was enough of a reward to keep on going.

Leora’s death allowed my wife and me to spend several days with my brother Dave, his wife Betty, and their daughter Catharine. We spent much time together crying, laughing, sharing meals, playing games and enjoying each other’s company. Making the most of life’s simple pleasures is a lesson Leora lived well.