No Recipe for Healing

A week after the story of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford’s adulterous affair broke, I’m still waiting for him to wise up. On Tuesday, Sanford admitted that he had repeatedly hedged on revealing the details of his eight-year relationship with Argentinean Maria Belen Chapur ( http://www.usatoday.com/printedition/news/20090701/sanford01_st.art.htm). He also confessed that he had engaged in multiple physical contacts with other women outside the country, but that he hadn’t had sexual intercourse with them.

He didn’t provide specifics, but any improper physical relationship with a woman not your wife is infidelity. The new revelations come after Sanford, who professes to be a Christian, made a secret six-day trip to Argentina to see Chapur, telling aides that if anyone inquired they should say he was hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Amazingly on Tuesday Sanford called Chapur his “soul mate,” which isn’t a step toward healing a 20-year marriage to his wife Jenny. Sanford made the recent trip to see his paramour against the wishes of his wife as well as his “spiritual adviser” Cubby Culbertson.

I’m also flabbergasted that Sanford is clinging to his job as governor. New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer resigned in disgrace last year to salvage his marriage after disclosure that he had been paying prostitutes. His successor David Patterson didn’t resign when affairs were revealed, but he took steps to ensure that his marriage would be a priority. (http://jkennedy.agblogger.org/2008/03/19/early-admission-john-w-kennedy/)

Sanford has all the marks of a sex addict who refuses to give up an adulterous partner at the risk of losing his family. Jenny Sanford has rightly avoided standing silently by his side at press conferences, which would give the impression that she condones his behavior. She has said her priority is seeing that the couple’s four sons recover from this ordeal.

Without wanting to appear judgmental, it’s clear that Sanford is more interested in preserving his power and his adulterous behavior than in saving his marriage. For his marriage to be saved he needs to relinquish sinful selfish behavior.