Playing Favorites?

This week, Time magazine’s cover story (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2094371,00.html) purports that parents can’t escape having a favorite child, even if they never admit it. As the father of three adult sons, I don’t think my wife or I consciously ever gave preference to one child over another.

It’s probably more accurate to say that each boy is a favorite at a particular time, but not in the cumulative. If I want to cheer enthusiastically at a baseball game, I should plop down next to Josh, the ultimate fan. If I’m ready to face the toughest competition in a tennis match, that means setting a date with Jesse, who is athletic at anything he attempts. If it’s time to enjoy music with a son, that would be Zach, who has a wide range of tastes, including the soundtracks that are my favorites.

Josh we like for his dogged pursuit of a teaching career, zest in playing sports, even-tempered personality, maturity and independence.

Jesse we admire for his compassion for the downtrodden, thirst for biblical knowledge, simple lifestyle, zany sense of humor and love of travel.

Zach we appreciate for his stand for righteousness in the midst of a hedonistic workplace, his passion for music, his pluckiness in working his way through college, his love of children and his desire to spend time with his aging parents.

I disagree with Time’s premise that the middle child — especially in a family with three sons — gets the shaft. Certainly Josh received the most undivided attention as the firstborn. And Zach reaped the requisite perks of being the youngest. But Jesse managed to rise above the bounds of being stuck in the middle of three boys born within 3½ years. He emerged, like his brothers, as an intelligent, talented and personable man.

We love our children in different ways, which we hope results in equal treatment. Josh, the oldest, turned 29 yesterday. We took him, his lovely wife and two wonderful daughters out to eat. Because Zach lives nearby, we invited him, too. We didn’t want to play favorites.

Smoking Obsession

My wife and I watch a lot of old movies on TCM, some of them mediocre, some of them brilliant. But one thing virtually all — whether from the 1930s, 1940s or 1950s — have in common is showing the lead characters, both men and women, is smoking. Often the habit is shown in conjunction with drinking alcoholic beverages. In some films, there are no scenes without lighting up.

The smoking-drinking behaviors of the classic film era are as ubiquitous as the obligatory profanity-nudity in today’s motion pictures. In both instances, the trends are designed to exhibit coolness. The movies influenced society at large. A lot more people smoked during the Great Depression and through World War II because they emulated the stars on the screen. Likewise, a great many more people have no qualms swearing in public these days compared to a couple of generations ago because they are following the expectations dictated by Hollywood.

Of course the supposedly sophisticated conduct of years gone by caught up with the stars as they aged. The vibrant energetic appearances of Bette Davis, William Holden, Gary Cooper, John Wayne, Joan Crawford, Melvyn Douglas, Humphrey Bogart, Clark Gable and others early in their careers gave way to wheezing and wizened features by middle age. Most died of heart disease or cancer, their faces full of craggy lines, their gaits slowed by shortness of breath.

We now know that smoking is not only a health risk but also that tobacco is the most addictive drug around. Many who puff away today are still trying to be cool. But the downside of smoking is no secret anymore. While around 45 percent of Americans smoked cigarettes when I was born; now it’s less than 20 percent.

Telling Stories

Occasionally I run into a person who asks if it’s difficult to come up with an idea for a news feature article in a weekly magazine. The answer is, usually not. There is enough going on in the world and in the Assemblies of God that ensure new topics are available to explore or fresh ways to report an already-explored topic.

In the first 11 years of my journalism career, I worked at daily newspapers, where creativity is a necessity. I spent eight of those years as a reporter and news editor of a paper in a city of 10,000 people. I covered murder trials, a manhunt, a child sex-abuse trial, an arson death, fatal car wrecks, the fatal shooting of a mayor during a city council meeting in a nearby city and a prison uprising. Of course, in a small city, those aren’t daily occurrences.

With a couple of others on the small staff I shared the responsibility of finding a local article for the front page every day. City, county and school board meetings and events provided fodder for numerous news articles, but much of the time I had to devise a feature story on my own. Even in a city of 10,000 (and county of 16,000) there are enough interesting folks and circumstances: servers complaining of low tips of local diners; a belly dancer looking for business; the workweek of morticians; the life of circus performers appearing at the local fairgrounds; how easy it is to buy a handgun; the story of local World War II prisoners of war; a local engineer whose hobby is jousting at Renaissance re-enactments.

These days, covering a U.S. denomination of 3 million people, there are many interesting untold stories to uncover. The primary challenge is that there is a two-month delay from the time the story is written until readers see it. Thus, articles really can’t be hard news and instead must examine trends. Lengthy stories I’ve written this year include alcohol abuse and females; the elderly and sex; astrology hazards; emerging adults; child sex abuse; reincarnation; and sports mania. What an interesting world in which we live!

Take Me Out of the Ballgame

I felt quite convicted recently after an interview with Shirl James Hoffman, author of Good Game: Christianity and the Culture of Sports for an article I’m writing about sports addiction. Although I wrote a paper on the topic last spring for seminary, talking to Hoffman really made me think about how much time I’ve wasted watching games, particularly baseball.

I’m far from a fanatic. But I made a practice of setting the DVR to watch the St. Louis Cardinals. Often at night I would start viewing about an hour into it so I could skip the commercials. Sometimes I wouldn’t watch until the next day or two, only viewing certain segments. If the team lost, I wouldn’t watch at all.

Still, the hours added up. The seven or eight hours a week I might have devoted to watching a telecast could have been better spent on a variety of activities such as reading, playing tennis or praying.

What really made sense to me was Hoffman’s observation that sports have no eternal value. People gather for a few hours to wildly cheer for men interacting with a ball. There is no vested interest. We aren’t friends with these millionaire entertainers. They don’t care about us. For the viewer, there really is no take-away investment in spending time in this pursuit.

So I resolved to give up watching baseball, and to throw myself into more important tasks. It helped that my team collapsed at the same time I made my decision.

It bothers me that sports seem to consume the daily thoughts of so many Christian men, including some in my own family. If such passion and devotion could be directed toward the Lord, what a difference it would make.

My wife argued that perhaps I should forgo other forms of entertainment, such as the movies we watch on TV many nights. I agree that many movies, especially ones produced these days, are a waste of two hours. But the classic films we watch usually are full of lessons about morality, greed and life in general that are worth the time spent.

My quest to ignore sports won’t be easy. After a lifetime of conditioning to watch on TV, it will be easy to get sucked back into the habit.

What Else Would I Do?

Recently a spate of people I respect have congratulated me on being a great writer. Being acknowledged for one’s work is always nice, and it doesn’t happen in a lot of professions. But several folks have gushed on and on about what a talent I am, how my articles in the Pentecostal Evangel have been a blessing to them and the denomination.

On the one hand such compliments warm my heart. On the other, is God testing me to see how I react? Am I going to get a bigger head than I already have?

No doubt I believe God has gifted me in the field of journalism. It comes naturally. But I wonder, what else could I do? I don’t have any mechanical talent essential for many jobs. I don’t have great physical stamina required for others.

About all I can do is write. So, I’m hoping the floundering magazine business survives a bit longer. If all goes well I will have another dozen years or so until retirement. Thankfully writing is usually something one doesn’t get too old to handle.